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Wow, an additional one particular already.

This one from yet another guy off CollarMe, asking a pretty widespread question: are masochistic fantasies healthy and balanced? In particular, those in which a person desires to become hurt, captured, or forced to submit? It’s a incredibly lengthy, individualised answer — which I rather hinted at in my brief response:

‘Great query, [name given].

Submission exists in several forms — and is as individualised as we are. The key is to comprehend what’s triggering the ‘submissive fantasies’. It may perhaps be a damaging or abusive situation from your youth; or, conversely, you might have by no means skilled anything like that and be secretly curious about it. Certain, you know it’s an awful point — to be harmed, produced to suffer, and encounter fear. Consciously, that’s. Subconscious is often a entire other ball-game, and it plays by very various rules.

Not positive how a lot you read from my profile, but I’m a psychosexual therapist, so this sort of speculation is my stock and trade. I’m usually evaluating the presence or absence of ‘healthy’ versus ‘unhealthy’ kink — namely, that which has presented itself to you based upon detrimental conditioning from the past by way of abuse, etc. (unhealthy) from the stuff we fantasise about which comes to us from a place of curiosity about and fascination with the unknown (healthy). My favourite thing to (at least attempt) to do is transform a negatively conditioned ‘unhealthy’ kink into a positive kink practical experience in a safe, controlled environment. Takes work, but it is undoubtedly worth it.

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